Summer To Do's

Previous summers I have always created a list of things I wanted to do, see and get accomplished.  I have yet to do this and our summer is half over.  Nonetheless, here are the "to dos", the "want to sees" and the "I must get this accomplished" list...

• I want to read up on classroom management procedures and the 4th grade curriculum.  (I will be teaching 4th grade this next year, a new grade level for me. I'm also currently reading Positive Discipline In the Classroom: Developing Mutual Respect, Cooperation, and Responsibility in Your Classroom.)
• Day trip to Mt. St. Helens (Accomplished!)
• Restain the deck.
• Form a landscaping plan for the back and front yard (we have a few changes we would like to do).
• Refinish the entry way table
• Fix and paint or paint and tile the desk on the deck.
• Calk the kitchen and finish painting (Accomplished!)
• Beginning in August, visit my classroom at least once a week to get ahead of the game for when fall arrives. 
• Go for at least a 30 minute walk 5 days a week (Accomplished...so far.)
• Go to the zoo (Done and done!  We've got a zoo membership now so the zoo is our new favorite place to hang out. )
• Camping in Idaho.
• Couple trips to The Cabin.
• Train for a 5K in the fall (Getting there.)
• Reorganize the kitchen cupboards (Accomplished!)
• Clean out the upstairs hall closet.
• Organize all our camping/outdoor gear in the garage.
• Refinish Will's high chair (my old high chair).
• Go to an M's game.
• Print a few pictures and hang them up around the house.
• Go on two hikes...in new areas.  Thinking of checking out a couple of trails off of HWY 2...maybe a portion of the PCT.
• Clean out and organize the upstairs guest bedroom closet.
• Clean out the front hall closet.

Alright...so this is just a start and this might take me well into September, but for now, this will do.

Happy summer, everyone. 

Discouraged Yet Encouraged

I've been thinking about this post for quite a while, but just haven't had the time to sit down and type it out. Nor did I want to sit down and write in an over-emotional state (angry, sad, depressed, etc.)

Will is now 4 months old and last week I stopped nursing him.  Since day one, nursing has been a challenge. I realize that the challenges that we were faced with are not uncommon, but they're not talked about either.  I'm beginning to realize how much isn't talked about when it comes to trying to get pregnant, being pregnant, delivering a baby and then what to expect after your sweet little one is here.  Maybe I'm part pessimist, but I want to know the good and bad of what I'm getting myself into.  I don't want flowers and sugar coated candy.  With that being said...nursing isn't for everyone and for me, the challenging moments of nursing far outweighed the delightful-snuggle-cozy-I'm-nourishing-my-baby moments.

There seems to be this underlying pressure to nurse and if you don't nurse then you're frowned upon for not nursing and providing for your baby.  Where does this pressure come from?  I don't know.  Maybe the pressure comes from society, medical specialists, family or personal guilt. Again, I don't know, but the pressure is there.

After 4 months of struggling with providing for Will, I gave in.  I stopped nursing.  I cried.  I cried a lot.  I felt like a failure because I wanted to try to nurse for at least 6 months.  Four months?  That's all I could do?  Did I mention I cried?  It was awful.

However, I am encouraged.  The crying and feeling of guilt for not nursing longer than I did only lasted a few days.  Then my emotions shifted and I felt free.  Free to provide for Will using a bottle and formula.  That's right, I said it.  The F word.  FORMULA.  Let me tell you...it has made a world of difference in our lives in the past week.  I feel less stressed.  Will is getting fed and fed enough.  He is full.  He is happy and he is healthy.

Here is what I have to share with others who would like to breastfeed...

There are tremendous benefits for both the mom and the baby when it comes to breastfeeding; however, breastfeeding isn't for everyone.  It is okay if it is not for you.  Give it a shot and if it doesn't work out, then don't stress about it.

There may be challenges with breastfeeding.  There may be latching issues, infections, clogged ducts, not producing enough, producing too much (I only wish).  If your baby is born early there may be suction motions that have not been fully developed or learned, which for a couple of weeks can be  physically and emotionally exhausting.  You may have to feed your baby with a syringe and a tube.  You might have to use a breast shield due to various nipple issues.

Don't listen to the pressure (from wherever it may come from) and do what you feel is right for you and your baby and for you and your husband.

Try your best to be calm and have patience.  Believe me, in the midst of you trying to balance a crying and hungry baby on your lap while at the same time forcing a boob in their mouth, but them not latching on...well, it is hard to find the calmness and patience, but you must.  If that means, setting your baby down and stepping outside to take a deep breath and then walking back inside for "take two", then do it.

Your baby will be okay if you feed them formula.  The most important thing is that your baby is growing and healthy.  If breastfeeding isn't doing the trick, then try supplementing with formula or eliminating breastfeeding altogether.

Again, of course breastfeeding is beneficial to mom and baby, but having a sane, sensible, rested and healthy mom to take care of your baby is just as important.  If breastfeeding is getting in the way of any of this, then step back and take a look at what is going on and reevaluate.  Maybe breastfeeding isn't for you and again, this is okay.  It is okay!

Know that everyone has their own experience with breastfeeding.  Create your own and don't worry about what others think.  Do what is best for you and your baby.


Our baby is happy, healthy and full of life.  I breastfed for 4 months and I'm okay with that.

Lake Wenatchee and Leavenworth

Our summer has been off to a great start...or rather my summer has been off to a great start.  I feel like I have been on summer break since Will has been here, but school isn't officially out for another week and one day.  (One day.  One day of going to school for 2 hours.  This is pointless, but whatever it takes I guess.)

Memorial Day somewhat kicks off our summer where BBQ's, warmer weather (or wishful thinking of warmer weather) and much traveling to see family and friends begins.  Rasar State Park has been a camping tradition for the past 6-7 years. Some parts are a little fuzzy, which I equate to the good times we have had.  This year's trip was a little different...we had Will and we only made it a day trip because he wasn't quite sleeping through the night, or at least consistently sleeping through the night.

Our little family at Rasar State Park.

This past week Will and I took a trip to Lake Wenatchee to see Granny and Papa and hang out for a few days.  While we were there we took a day trip into Leavenworth and hiked part of Lake Wenatchee shore side trail.  Granny also taught Will, or at least introduced him to the steps to making sangria.  We had a great time.

Smiling with Granny.

A day in Leavenworth.

Mom and I...after wine tasting.  We had so much fun!

Sangria lesson...

...introducing Will to wine.  

Hike around Lake Wenatchee. Will was not cooperative for the camera.

Today we enjoyed and laughed hysterically (I was crying I was laughing so hard) at Aidan's preschool graduation.  This little boy means the world to us.  He is like a nephew to us and we would do anything for him.  He is smart.  Very smart.  And he loves to read, especially about Star Wars.  He is funny and always makes us laugh.  He also has a loving heart, but is often shy about showing it.  My favorite is when he secretly approaches and wants to give a hug or quietly says, "I love you, Monin."  He truly is an incredible little boy and I'm so thankful that Molly and Ryan share him with us.  Congratulations buddy on finishing preschool.  We are so proud of you, Aidan.

After Aidan's preschool ceremony.

There are many other "things to do, places to see and people to be with" for our summer...this will be another post.

Until then...welcome summer and hurry up warmer weather.

Little Arms Welcoming into Heaven

It's not even our loss, but my heart aches incredibly.  I've cried all night thinking about it and trying to imagine what our friends are going through.  I can't.  I'm completely taken aback by this and continue to ask God why.  And then I go into complete feelings of guilt for us not staying in better contact with them, for not calling when we are in the area, for not getting together more often when we lived closer.

I pray for the Demings and their extended family that is going through this loss. I ask that God wrap his loving arms around them, comfort them and surround them with loved ones.  Lord allow them to grieve and give them the time to work their way through this loss.  I pray, Lord, that you comfort the little hearts of Henry, Morgan and Max as they grieve in their own little way.  Allow them to have answers to their questions about their little brother, Andrew Michael.  Lord, in due time, give them piece of mind knowing that Andrew Michael is with You in Heaven.  God I also pray that your healing hands are upon Sarah.  Give her the strength and courage to face each day and a quick recovery to what her body has gone through.  God, please bless their family.

I can only hope that our three little ones in Heaven opened their arms wide to Michael Andrew and they are running through the woods, building forts, sword fighting with sticks, eating s'mores around the campfire, playing in the dirt and muddy from head to toe...freely playing as little kids do with huge imaginations.  Most importantly, that they have welcomed him and asked him to play and be friends.

God, I thank you so much for our little Will.  Although extremely difficult and still in question, I thank you Lord for the losses that I have experienced, only to be able to comfort and support others that have similar aches in their heart.  Today I'm grateful for life.

Throughout our losses, words of encouragement have been shared with us.  I share these same words of encouragement to the Demmings...

Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord. -Psalm 31:24

The Lord is near to the broken hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him (her) out of them all.  -Psalm 34: 18-19

I will turn their mourning into joy and comfort them and give them joy for their sorrow. -Jer. 31:13

We love you Demings.  Our extended arms are here and we will continue to pray for you.

First M's Home Opener

Will went to his first M's home opener.  I foresee this being just one of many more home openers to come, beings that this was Chad and mine's ninth home opener.  

Will was fantastic.  We were hoping to make it to the 4th inning and we ended up leaving in the 8th because we had to catch our bus.  We have definitely lucked out with a mellow little boy.  

Will got a certificate from guest services that shows he came to the game with mommy and daddy.  He also got a Mariner Moose playing card.  I might just be an overly excited new mommy, but I thought that it was pretty cute and cool.

On our walk out of the stadium and to the bus tunnel, both Chad and I commented on the fact that neither of our parents were there this year.  We missed them.  Maybe next year. 

Here are a couple of pictures from that night...

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

Yes, it's that time of year.  The Mariner's season starts tomorrow and I couldn't be more thrilled.  I love baseball and believe it or not, I love the Mariners.  It's hard to be an M's fan, but at the beginning of every season the loyal M's fans hope for the best.  And we have high hopes for the best.  So right now, our season looks good and anything is possible.

The home opener is April 13th and for the past 8 years I have been to the home opener.  It's now a tradition and one that I hope we can continue...with Will.  I'm pretty excited that this year will be Will's first home opener.

Here's a couple of pictures from last year's home opener.

Chad's parents were in town for the game.  

Before the game, hanging out in the beer garden at Pyramid across the street from the stadium.

Traditional picture with the field in the background.

There will be 3 of us in the picture this year.

We always dominate the standing space behind home plate.

Two of my favorite fans, Becca and Molls.

The boys...Will, Anthony, Luke and Chad.

Luke and I have been to the last 8 home openers together.

Looking forward to the game in a couple of weeks.  Let's go Mariners!

Life Changes--A Little Over Two Week In

Time has passed by quickly.  I looked at my last post and realized it was in the end of January.  My writing time has been more preoccupied on Will's blog, (http://weebabymoon.blogspot.com/).  Our little miracle has arrived and what an adventure it has been so far.

Will was born three weeks early and at first I thought that three weeks really couldn't make that much of a difference, but it has.  The biggest challenge, at least for me, has been with breast feeding.  Everybody talks about the benefits to breastfeeding (which I completely agree), but the conversations of how difficult, exhausting (emotionally and physically) and painful it can be is rarely discussed.  But don't get me wrong, it is indescribably rewarding and satisfying in a nurturing way at the same time.

For the first few days Will was tube fed from the breast and in doing so I felt helpless.  My milk hadn't come in completely and knowing how valuable the nutrient-rich colostrum was for Will to get, but not fully receiving was emotionally exhausting.  Looking down at him as he was trying to nurse, learning to suck from a breast shield, receiving food from a tube while at the same time him looking up at his mommy and daddy probably wondering why we were not adequately providing for him.  Recalling the desperate look in his eyes brings me to tears.  Little Will went through a 24-hour period where he did not want to eat, but just sleep and significantly dropped weight.  His brain was still programmed to be sleeping and receiving food without effort.  He wasn't ready for the real world and Chad and I had to teach him and try to reassure him that what we were doing was for the good.  Again, just thinking about it breaks my heart.

The next morning Chad called Will's pediatrician and she wanted to see him right away.  That afternoon we saw Dr. Chaput, who absolutely loves Will, and she reassured the both of us that he was going to be okay.  I almost think we needed the doctor's visit more than Will did.  While waiting for my milk to come in Will's pediatrician told us to do formula supplements and keep a detailed log of Will's feedings and pooping and peeing schedule.  When we returned home I had an emotional breakdown...feeling less than adequate as a new mommy.  Chad continued to be solid and support me, Will and our new life changes as we dove in head first.

Once Will started eating, he began to come alive and become a little person.  His cheeks started to fill out, his bottom lip puckered up and his coloring changed drastically.  Within a week the tube feeding ended (thank God) and we were able to bottle feed him breast milk.  Now the little guy is nursing and being bottle fed like a champ and gaining weight as he should.

Other life changes...lack of sleep.  Although this is expected with a newborn, but I guess we weren't fully prepared for what that meant.  It amazes me how little sleep our bodies can continue to function...well, sort of.  We are regularly in bed by 8:00 now because we are so tired.  Although, Will has a different story in mind and enjoys staying awake from about 8:30-midnight.

I know it's only been two weeks, but I feel like our social life has also taken a huge step back.  We left our house for a social outing on St. Patrick's Day, but inside I was a basket case and not sure if I even wanted to go.  I was glad we went, but also glad when we came home.  Our second social outing was to our weekly Survivor night.  I was a little more relaxed, but we are still trying to figure out Will's schedule...if he has one...and where we fit in to all of it too.

Nonetheless, with these little life changes my heart is overflowing with love for our little miracle baby boy, Will.  We've brought a gift from God into this world and he is precious, peaceful and absolutely perfect.

Somewhere Over TheRainbow

We have three little angels in heaven.

This song always makes me think of them.

But only this version.

Today this song makes my heart smile. 

30 Weeks

I go back and forth on where to post pregnancy related photos, feelings, thoughts, etc...here or on "Herm's" blog.  I've decided that "Herm's" blog is more about letters to him from me and this one is just about anything, really.  About life, I guess.

Anyway, here is a picture of Danielle and I at the Peter Kirk baby shower.

Me = 30 weeks, Danielle = 37 weeks

Our little boys will be friends. 

I'm so thankful that I have Danielle, a close friend, who has also been pregnant the same time that I have.  She's about 7 weeks ahead of me, and she has a similar story.  It's great to compare and talk about our pregnancies.  The reassurance has been appreciated.

Danielle, you've kept me grounded.  We've laughed together...and laughed at others.  We've made a pact to get back in shape after the babies are here.  We've also made a deal with one another that if we are still packin' on the pounds a year after the babies are here that we can support each other to "get our acts together".  I simply love your positive outlook on life...it's contagious.  I look forward to the days of our little boys playing together and us sipping on our beers, poolside, in the summer time.

Thanks for being a great friend, Danielle.

Snow, Snow, Snow

The past week we have been hit with a snow storm and as I sit in the kitchen and stare out the window, it continues to snow.  Chad and I have ventured out a few times and last night as we were driving around we were talking about how all the snow makes us miss Idaho.  We both wish that at least for a month we could have continued snow here; although, what a disaster that would be with the crazies around her.  Not to mention that Western Washington does not have the equipment to maintain that kind of snow levels.  Nonetheless, we sure do enjoy it and the memories it sparks from living in Idaho.  (Sorry Sonja, no plans of moving back to Idaho.)

With the snow, brings snow days or days away from school.  School was canceled the past two days and at the rate the snow is falling today, we probably won't have school tomorrow either.  Every snow day missed during our regularly scheduled school days we have to make up at the end of the school year.  YUCK!  This means that we are currently in school until June 26th.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  I can only hope that we don't have a 4th of July assembly.  If that's the case, I might strongly consider extending my maternity leave.

In other news...Peter Kirk had a baby shower for Danielle and I.  It was a lot of fun.  Low key, great food, great drinks (I only had a couple little sips) no lame games and just hanging out.  The staff got our babies newborn matching outfit sets (our babies are 7 weeks apart) and one other larger gift.  I got one of these...

...a moby wrap.  I've heard great things about this baby-carrier-contraption and it's very popular in Europe and the middle east.  It's supposed to be excellent for your back too.  I've heard it's quite comfortable...we'll see how it goes.  How lucky I am to be working at such a loving, positive and supportive school.  The community at PK is truly one of the best.

Mom is planning a family/family friend baby shower in February.  I'm really looking forward to this.  I'm excited to see everyone and to just enjoy the day.  The big party will be after "Herm" arrives...we won't be holding back...our neighbors might even dislike us for a while as we party it up with family and friends.  I'm okay with this..."Herm's" worth every moment of celebration.

Here are a few pictures.  Enjoy...

Family Christmas photo.  

Snowy house. 

Looking into our snowy cul-de-sac.

Everyone should be jealous of my socked-flip-flopped-Vanna-White-reindeer-mail-retriever.

(He's so cute.)

Hunkering down for another snow day...I just received a call from the school district stating that there is no school tomorrow.  Fourth of July school assembly is just around the corner.