Sure, emotions are a little raw because I just got off the phone and heard not so good news...
and then I thought for a while that maybe it's not the best time to blog...
and then I thought some more and I've decided that I'm going to blog anyway...
The not so good news? Well, I currently don't have a job for this next school year. Quite frankly, it sucks. It's hard to understand why God has me go through the challenges in life that I have to go through. And I know that He doesn't take away the things that I love to hurt me...because I have a loving God. Although, it's difficult to understand this.
We don't have kids and I would do anything to have our own. My kids are my students and to think about not having 20-plus students that I can open my heart to, share life with and teach to...it crushes me. Crushes me. My students are my kids...because I don't have any of my own. I think this is the toughest part to understand about the current not so good news. Why would God take this away from me?
How is it that awful teachers get to maintain their job? Lazy teachers? Teachers who don't care? Teachers who work the bare minimum or less? Teachers who are negative and only want what's best for them, not putting the student first? I DON'T UNDERSTAND AND THIS MAKES ME SO INCREDIBLY ANGRY! I have a loving God? Wait, let me rephrase that...I have a loving God.
I realize I'm in the moment, mad at the world (well, actually God...and maybe those lazy-good-for-nothing-I-don't-care-teachers) because I don't understand "Why?". I wish I knew what God has in store for me for this next school year...
5 comments:
Obviously, I completely understand how you feel. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. You are a ridiculously amazing teacher, and you belong in the classroom. How incredibly stupid this is...
But let me tell you, God knows what he's doing. I didn't understand why I lost my job last year or why I moved out of my favorite city, but I am now seeing his hand in these plans. Life circumstances have led me to see why I'm here in Denver, and I completely thank God that I am. Even though it meant giving up some things that I dearly loved. I'm praying that His plan will be evident to you, and that He'll have truly good things in store.
In the mean time, feel free to yell and scream about it. You have every right to. :)
you have a wise friend in Kaela. I got on here to type some of the same words. Take heart, friend. You are going to be ok. I can't imagine anywhere else you're supposed to be, except in a place to bless kids...whoever they may be. My heart hurts for you and I don't understand. But I love you and am committed to praying daily for you. You are one incredible lady. xx
Ah, Man. I'm sorry, Rob. Sorry for you and for the students who won't get you as their teacher next year. I'll tell you, though, I'm excited to see what God has for you. . . It must be really great. Love ya, Robin.
Thanks for the love and prayers. :)
I've been out of town and am catching up on my reading...I read the below first, then read your blog and new it was providential. I'm sorry to hear about your job, I'm praying for you!
...
“Reader, if God has given you His only begotten Son, beware of doubting His kindness and love, in any painful providence of your daily life! Never allow yourself to think hard thoughts of God. Never suppose that He can give you anything which is not really for your good. Remember the words of Paul: ‘He who spared not His own Son—but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things’ (Romans 8:32).
See in every sorrow and trouble of your earthly pilgrimage the hand of Him who gave Christ to die for your sins! That hand can never smite you except in love! He who gave His only begotten Son for you, will never withhold anything from you which is really for your good. Lean back on this thought and be content. Say to yourself in the darkest hour of trial, ‘This also is ordered by Him who gave Christ to die for my sins. It cannot be wrong. It is done in love. It must be well.’"
Maybe you should leave that cute new house and move to Boise. It sounds like a GREAT idea to me! ;) Love you!
Post a Comment