Thank You, God

Yesterday I was mad. Today I am relieved, or I should say at peace. I am finished with my first round of conferences. I have a long road ahead of me, but with God by my side I know everything will be okay. I was reminded today that it's okay to have the heart that I do, to go home crying every other ngiht because I want the best for my students yet unsure as to how I am going to get them to be the best that they can be...BUT I can't do it alone. Someone shared with me today that being a Christian teacher is almost a tougher job than just being a teacher. My heart aches for my students that are lost, my students that have nobody to trust, those students that need that one-on-one support at home, but it's just not there. Sunday at church I was reminded that I can pray for my students. Duh! What was I thinking? More than anything many of my students need someone like Jesus. I'm not the type of person to "sell" Jesus...I just don't feel comfortable doing that; however, the love, care and concern that I share with my students is enough. I can't personally share Jesus' story with them, but I can share Jesus' love. Jesus loves my students, I love my students...I am praying for my students because they are lost and need love. Thank you, God.

Politically Correct

I've always had a tough time at being that "politically correct" person and saying things appropriately versus just spitting out what's on my mind without the use of a filter. With close friends it's easy to NOT use my filter, because I'm in a comfortable enviroment and they would expect no less (at least, that's what I'm hoping). Over time a relationship has been established. I suppose even in a well established relationship I can open-mouth-and-insert-foot, but that's who I am. I'd like to say that it should be easy for me to speak my mind and be myself whenever, but that's not the case. So, I suppose, I CAN use my filter when I REALLY need to, although I really don't enjoy being NOT ME. One case in particular is during parent-teacher conferences.

I've witnessed my first round of parent-teacher conferneces and going into the conferences I was excited, nervous and purely anxious to see deeper into the roots of where my students have come from. I enjoy having that open communication with the parents, but honestly with today's society it's down right challenging for me to have that continious open communication...and then when all is not going as I would like it to...I want to scream at parents. In my perfect little world, my little bubble, it would be outstanding if every student could go home to "Mrs. Cleaver" with an apron on, homemade cookies fresh from the oven and a glass of milk sitting on the table for snack, and an eager mom ready to sit down with their son/daughter to help them with homework. Then once homework is finished, my students could go play softball in the streets, build forts in the neighborhood forest nearby, and ride bikes off sweet jumps. Shortly "Mr. Cleaver" comes home from work, hugs "Mrs. Cleaver" and the entire family sits down at the table for dinner. Oh-wait. My bubble has been popped.

What has happened to the value of family, the value of relationships, and the value of our education? (Oh my goodness, these could all be three separate posts where I would open-mouth-insert-foot.) Who cares if so-and-so is skilled at soccer, into theater, shopping at Abercrombie and has an I-phone (Seriously? A 12 year old does not need an I-phone!). Seriously, we don't need to be keeping up with the Joneses, unless they are like the Cleavers, of course. What about reading, writing and math? What about family time? What about a sit-down-family dinner? What about making sure your child is successful in their education? Have parents checked to see if homework is finished? I can't tell a parent that their child is failing because it's their fault. Oh how I would love to, but I can't do it. That's not being "politically correct", or shall I say "political". However, OF COURSE it will be my fault when a student is failing, but if only parents could see that I can't make a student successful all by myself. Due to the pressures of society, as a teacher I HAVE to have that support at home. I can't do it alone.

More than anything I want ALL my students to be successful. I want all my students to understand that it's okay to fail and learn from their mistakes. I yearn for my students to see achievement in their own works. I want honest and valuable support from students' home life. I want to wave my wand and make all my students' worries go away so they can be great students and have fun being kids (because they don't know how to anymore). I would love for parents to slow down, take a step back and just take that extra time to spend with their kids (preferably not in front of a t.v. or game console of some sort).

Like I said, my bubble has been popped. I have entered into a profession where I have to be politically correct. I enjoy the challenges and rewards of conferences (even though they are emotionally exhausting) and I will continue to strive to be the best teacher that I can be.

Classroom...Before and After

As promised, here are pics of my classroom.

Before...

After...

Classroom...Just Kidding

I took pictures of my classroom today...I left my camera at school. Pictures of my classroom will have to be posted another day.

On another note...I'm tired. I feel wiped and my "hmph" is gone. Grades are due in a week and I feel behind. The only thing that gets me through my teaching day are my 6th graders. They are lovely. Although today I wanted to strangle a couple of them...all with love of course...and maybe duct tape.

Note to self: 6th graders can't handle sitting next to their close friends. They just want to socialize and hang out and not pay attention and interupt their teacher...not meaning to though. Sometimes it's so hard to be or get mad at them.

A True 6th Grader

I have so much to share about teaching, my school, my classroom, my students...and everything else that is going on in my (our) life, but I just don't have the time to sit and focus on writing...because all I currently focus on is teaching, my school, my classroom, my students...(poor Chad).

I need to start writing down the things that my students say and do because honestly, not only does it make me love even more what I get to do every day, but it snaps me into reality of how pure, innocent, and naive my students are to our cruel world. It also makes me realize how much they need me, just as much as I need them, to get through the day to day happenings; including life situations that seem unfair for a 6th grader, an 11 year old. Here are just a few happenings/sayings in my daily life as a 6th grade teacher...

• First day of school, "So, you're my 6th grade teacher? (Being looked up and down) Are you old enough?"
• (Second week of school) As the students were working quietly at their desks, I popped into the room next door to grab something off the printer. When I reentered the room they all started clapping. I was appreciative and quickly instructed them to get back to work. Apparently I had done something right in just a few days.
• In reading aloud Danny the Champion of the World by Roald Dahl (great book by the way), there was a scene where Danny's dad cocked the rifle back to shoot at a pheasant. Not expecting it, the students started laughing when I said "cock". What is going to happen when I have to teach a bit of sex ed.?
• Two boys came overly excited into class on a Monday. They were eager to share and show me their new purchases from the weekend. I was a bit nervous, and then suddenly both of them wipped out a stick of deoderant. I laughed so hard and my nervousness moved to thankfulness.
• One morning a student got dropped off an hour and a half before school started. She was crying, so without question I opened the door to let her in. She proceeded to share with me that her mom and her mom's fiance got into a big fight the night before and her mom woke her up in the middle of the night to sleep on the floor of her bedroom. Then she had to get dropped off so early for school because her mom and the fiance were still fighting and they didn't want to be around each other....mom just went to work. My student was afraid because she couldn't figure out how to solve their problem so her mom wouldn't call off the wedding. (Wow...talk about a gut wrencher.)
• A mom came in to talk to me about the worries her daughter had about being gone for our week over-night trip to Canada. The jist of the story is, mom is a recovering breast cancer patient and when my student was gone a year ago for an extended period of time visiting family, she returned to mom being in the hospital due to an infection. My student is worried that if she is gone for a week at our outdoor ed program, when she returns she won't have a mom anymore...even through her mom is clear and free of cancer. (Seriously? The worries of a 6th grader are unfair. They're only 11.)
• An unexpected student and her mom came into my classroom one morning because the student, while at her dad's house the night before, made me a "muffin-cake" to show me she was sorry for a recent loss. For all that don't know what a "muffin-cake" is, it's a Jiffy blueberry muffin mix baked in the bottom of a throw-away-tin pie pan. It's actually brilliant because it was as if I had received one big muffin top...and everyone knows that's the best part of every muffin.
• Okay a funny one...I have a couple of boys that are beginning to notice girls. One of them brought in a brand new white, trendy hat. He informed me very nervously and all in one breath that "He got the hat because girls like hats and he likes a girl and he's hoping that if he wears the hat then the girl will like him." (Oh dear, he has so much to learn.)
• Direct quote, "I thought the sub was...well...I guess just okay, but it's really hard to compare to Mrs. MacDonald because I like her a lot." (*tear* I like them too.)
• My favorite description of a 6th grader...Sixth graders are like first graders in a big kid body.

I look forward to sharing more thoughts/happenings/sayings of my 6th grade teaching adventures.